Responsibly Made Flower Girl Dresses

With only four month until our wedding, planning is definitely in full swing, and I am trying to get more and more creative in order to keep our wedding as affordable and responsibly-sourced as possible. 

Dresses for our three flower girls have been throwing me for a bit of a loop -- I didn't want to buy from a big-box-store dress because of the environmental and social/public health implications, but I also needed to find three matching dresses (because apparently you have to buy young sisters the same dress or they will fight over them). And, of course, I'm on a budget.

This is where Etsy, which continually impresses me with its potential for awesomeness, comes in. I love that Etsy gives me access to artists and tradespeople in my larger community that I wouldn't have necessarily found using google or walking around my neighborhood. (They also have lots of "vintage" -- read: "used" -- finds). I think that often times when we need "stuff," it can feel like there are no other options aside from the big-box-stores or Goodwill, but Etsy is just one of many awesome alternative options for more responsibly sourced items.

After a little searching, I found a woman in LA who will make three flower girl dresses for us from a picture I sent her. And her price is more affordable than the original retail price of the pictured dress. So I saved money, supported a local tradeswoman, and did not support the labor shipping practices that I feel strongly against. I'm going to go ahead and call this a win.

I Fell Off the Wagon

So after 4 months of buying nothing new, I fell off the wagon last week. Here's what I bought:

Swimsuit (Made in USA)
Undergarments (Made in USA and Europe)
Dress

Two of these technically fall into my acceptable exceptions (Made in the USA), but I honestly didn't need any of these things. These were also all things I purchased for my wedding and/or honeymoon, which really makes me think about the pressures of the wedding industry and our consumer culture in general. Why do we feel the need to buy something shiny and new for these special occasions? Why am I being told to spend $$$$$$ on fancy new things for our wedding? Don't I already have nice dresses, swimsuits, and undergarments? And when did the process of shopping for wedding stuff become this all-important rite of passage for every bride to make a big deal of and share with her nearest and dearest (i.e. Say Yes to the Dress -- now there's a glorified monetary transaction)?

Okay that's a lot of questions there, but all of this really has gotten me thinking about how we've completely commercialized and put price tags on these special occasions in our life. Isn't a wedding about love (both with your partner, and with your family and friends)? Isn't Mother's Day about celebrating the woman who gave you life? Aren't birthdays about celebrating the awesomeness of special friends and family? And don't even get me started on Christmas and Hanukkah.

When did we start letting corporations sell us this idea of all this "necessary" stuff? The idea that you absolutely must purchase cute, themed tangible items for people on designated days of the year? And that you absolutely must have a new outfit for every special occasion? And that, if you are a bride, well then you absolutely must secure yourself a whole new wardrobe full of white dresses and bathing suits and shoes and bachelorette party apparel, etc.?

This whole notion of the "stuff" that is linked to these holidays and celebrations is so new. Do you think people in the 1930's and 1940's bought new outfits for every wedding and birthday party? Or bought presents for everyone they knew at Christmas? Or even received presents for so many of these holidays that have now been totally commercialized (i.e. Easter, Mother's Day, Valentine's Day)? Giving a gift used to be a special and unexpected gesture of compassion and friendship, and now it's become a required part of nearly every major holiday and celebration. So much so that we make registries to tell people what to get us, because we know they're going to buy us something. (I guess that's part of what really bothers me about registries).

So here I am to admit that, for a week or two there, I totally got sucked into this. I was sold the idea that my wedding would be less special if I didn't have "all the stuff," and I totally bought in. But now I'm seeing through the B.S. My wedding (and my life!) will be just as amazing, just as wonderful, just as special without "all the stuff" -- in fact, it might just even be better.

Do-It-Yourself (and Buy Nothing New) Wedding Videography

So weddings are expensive! Really expensive. And I think wedding planning has felt challenging largely because many of the weddings I've seen and read about feel really wasteful (in terms of money and resources). There's probably a whole post I can write about this later. 

Anyway, we decided that we wanted some video of our upcoming wedding, but didn't want to shell out $2,000+ for a videographer, so:

I bought a few used (and cheap!) flipcams to have get video clips throughout the day (which we can then have professionally edited -- this was totally inspired by my awesome friend Kim). As regular readers will know, I have strong feelings about the huge impact of our culture of disposable technology so, not only do I feel good about getting used electronics, which have no further environmental or socially irresponsible impact, but I also just save myself a good $1900+ on videos for our wedding. I call that a win!

Buy Nothing New Wedding Update

I have been largely away from the blog for a few weeks now, in part because I have been spending most of my free internet time planning for this upcoming wedding! I'm really doing my best to put together a wedding that still reflects my values, and here's where I'm at right now:

Things I've figured out in a responsible/sustainable way(Blog posts coming soon!):
- Venue, food, photography
- Do-It-Yourself Videography
- My dress/ensemble
- Centerpieces (I love Goodwill!)

Things I still haven't quite figured out how to do sustainably:
- Future Husband's apparel (How do you multiple coordinating ties in a specific color family used?)
- Gifts for the awesome people who are helping us out
- Other decorations and activities
- Flowers 

If anyone has suggestion on any of these things, please let me know! I promise to come back and start blogging again very soon :)
 

Buy Nothing New Wedding!

As my real life friends already know, I got engaged this past weekend and I'm getting married in September of this year. Yay!

Since I have no intention of compromising on my "buy nothing new" year, I guess my upcoming wedding has just turned into a "buy nothing new" wedding!

Oooh, this just got interesting.